Mirage of Blaze: Exaudi Nos Path to the Cross By Kuwabara Mizuna Translated by asphodel

Hear our prayers...

Please don’t expect anything from me.

Please don’t ask anything of me.

I cannot show you that wonderful view.

You will get nothing by being with me. If you had expected to gain anything from coming with me, you should stop now. If the few words I spewed out in my anguish resonated with you for a moment, do not be fooled by that euphoria.

The chronic despair you desire (which is filled with hopeless narcissism and pain approaching rapture) should be sought from the noble merchants who trade in suffering. —I am not here because I want to suffer eternally. I’m only doing this because I want to find a path that does not lead to ruin (at the end of the road, I just don’t have the courage to try destruction), and because with all my heart I want to get to a place without pain (perhaps all I want is to choose the easy path).

Does obtaining peace of mind mean “death”?

You misunderstand.

You will regret loving me. You will be deeply disappointed when I tell you I will not give you the things you desire. But look at your own hands. This is not love. It was never love. I...know how it feels when you truly love someone.

Such a fake loss can never hurt me.

Please don’t ask anything of me.

In my agony I wait for someone to crucify me. (Will no one provide me a cross for this level of suffering?) I want every word I leave behind to become my suicide note.

Please release me.

Please, someone, tell me I am allowed to be killed, to die on this path without reaching its end.

This place is too painful.

I am a cunning person.

Please, I beg you to realize this soon.